Scene: Metropolitan Museum of Art, the Temple of Dendur
Vivian: Oh, my God, look who's at our table.
Frederick: Who? Who's at our table?
Vivian: Shh.
Frederick: Don't shush me, goddamnit.
Vivian: Smile.
Frederick: Why?
Vivian: Smile, goddamnit. Pia, how are you?
Pia: Vivian! What a surprise!
Frederick: Hello, Simon.
Simon: Frederick. Didn't expect to see you here.
Frederick: Why not?
Simon:: Um, I don't know. I heard you were....
Frederick: Dead?
Vivian: We're certainly not dead.
Simon: Pia and I are glad you're not dead. We're delighted.
Frederick: Thank you.
Pia: It's true.
Frederick: One rolls with the punches.
Simon: Absolutely.
Vivian: You know where we've spent the past two weeks? The Seychelles.
Pia: Isn't that where Eliot Spitzer went after...?
Simon: You're thinking of Thailand.
Vivian: We have two words for you: Cousine Island.
Simon: Private?
Frederick: Extremely.
Pia: I've heard of it. I do think Eliot Spitzer went.
Simon: He didn't.
Frederick: We didn't see him.
Pia: This was after.
Simon: Stop saying that. So, Frederick, any irons in the fire?
Frederick: Not really, no.
Simon: Good. Great. That's wonderful.
Pia: It is.
Vivian: It's terrific having Fred home.
Pia: I'll bet.
Vivian: The kids love it too.
Frederick: They're adjusting. We all are.
Vivian: What's to adjust to? We love having you around the house. He fixed an Imari vase the other morning.
Pia: Wow. I'm impressed.
Vivian: You know what we said to each other on Cousine Island? "Before we had everything money could buy. Now we have everything money can't buy."
Pia: Isn't Cousine Island...?
Vivian: What?
Pia: Costly?
Frederick: Christ, yes.
Vivian: Rates do include a complimentary foot and leg massage.
Pia: So didn't you "buy" Cousine Island?
Simon: They didn't buy it; they stayed two weeks.
Pia: Didn't the Cousine Island experience cost money?
Frederick: Christ, yes.
Simon: Vivian means time. Now they have time.
Pia: So you're selling the place in Connecticut?
Frederick: Yes.
Vivian: No.
(Extended silence)
Pia: Doesn't the Temple look nice?
Vivian: Yes.
Frederick: Very nice.
Simon: I just want to say, Frederick: We miss you at the firm.
Frederick: I miss you too.
Vivian: But he doesn't miss the firm.
Frederick: I do.
Vivian: You told me on Cousine Island that you didn't.
Frederick: I didn't miss it when I was on Cousine Island. I miss it now that I'm in Manhattan.
Pia: This lobster bisque is divine.
Frederick: I miss the comaraderie, the joking.
Simon: There's no joking now. It's a morgue.
Frederick: I even miss the wastebasket next to my desk.
Vivian: Frederick and I made jam yesterday.
Simon: Isn't that swell!
Frederick: She made it; I watched.
Vivian: We bought paraffin and wore aprons.
Pia: Wonderful! We all need projects.
Frederick: I don't like unemployment.
Simon: That's understandable.
Frederick: I loathe it. We have three kids at Dalton.
Pia: Wow.
Vivian: We're crazy about Dalton.
Frederick: I'm not; not anymore.
Vivian: You said you were crazy about it on Cousine Island.
Frederick: I was crazy about Cousine Island; not Dalton.
Pia: They both sound wonderful.
Frederick: They're both too expensive.
Vivian: Frederick, please.
Frederick: We shouldn't be eating this soup: it's too expensive.
Vivian: Shh.
Frederick: Do you know how much paraffin costs?
Simon: I really don't.
Frederick: It's exorbitant. I mean, what is it actually? It's wax for Christ's sake. Are candles expensive?
Pia: They can be.
Simon: Pia, please.
Frederick: I told Vivian: each jar of jam is going to end up costing fourteen dollars.
Vivian: Frederick, may I speak with you privately?
Frederick: That's all we do: speak privately. We don't see anyone. No one calls. We have the rest of our lives to speak privately.
Vivian: Let's start now. Excuse us please.
Frederick: I haven't finished my costly soup.
Simon: I've been meaning to call.
Frederick: I very much doubt it.
Simon: I think I did phone....
Frederick: Trust me, you didn't. I'd know: I'm always home.
(Extended silence)
Frederick: We bought tickets for this shindig last September. Tonight, I tried to scalp them.
Pia: You're too funny.
Frederick: I'm serious. In front of the Stanhope. I almost had a couple of takers, but they weren't in black tie.
Pia: Listen, if we can help....
Frederick: You want to put three kids through Dalton? Two of whom have low grades?
Vivian: I love our kids. They're wonderful.
Simon: Of course.
Vivian: They're...what was the word you used, Simon? They're...swell.
Pia: We're here for you.
Frederick: Are you offering to buy a jar of jam?
Pia: No, but if you're serious about the place in Connecticut....
